A special post dedicated to something amazing that happened when you travel with other people. Bonding happens. When travelling with others, only 1 of 2 scenarios will happen: Either you bond even more during the trip, or somehow the bond gets strained. It won’t remain status quo regardless of how little or how long a time you spend travelling together. Something will change, very subtly; but somehow you would know if it went upside or downside.
I was very fortunate that when I went on this study trip, the bonds I had with the students as well as my trip partner got stronger. It happens when you are with one another for 11 days straight, almost 24/7 (aside from sleeping). It’s an understatement to say that this trip was great. Of course, some bonds became stronger than the rest… very mysterious way of how life works out that somehow, somewhere, out there, when it happens naturally, it catches you off-guard. Yet, only for that brief moment before that sense of familiarity and warmth takes over and you go, “Wow…”
Bonds. A strong word for a fragile thing. So intangible yet visible through the actions and words between people. It’s human nature to create bonds with the people we interact with, whether we want it or not. Sometimes it’s for survival, sometimes it’s for work and widening of one’s social circle & sometimes it’s to deepen the already-present connections. To me, to be able to bond over travelling may not happen that often. Sure, you can travel with your group of friends, but if it’s for the first time, there’s a 50-50 chance of it to make or break. I have a few groups of friends from different parts of my life, that till now, I’ve only traveled with some, for school or for leisure. That risk to take to make or break the friendship… that’s tricky. Not everyone would “rock the boat” when everything works out well, and sometimes it’s a gut feel that, “We can be friends, but I don’t think we are travel buddies”.
But it definitely makes a difference in the levels of intimacy. The group of University friends whom I spent 5-weeks with in Boston; we were closer, compared to friends whom I’ve known since childhood or teenage years that I have not traveled with. Partly was because we are all in the same field, that might be one factor drawing us to one another. But the familiarity & how we could just pick up from where we left off even not meeting up for months; now that’s precious and rare. The same goes to some of the friends whom I’ve met while I was studying overseas and the idea of “Let’s do weekend trips together” came about. I admit, it was a risk because we hardly knew one another, but somehow it worked out well.
But as life works in mysterious ways, bonds could also be broken… Even in a friendship that lasted more than 7 years. Though psychology said (whether or not it’s scientific or backed up), if the friendship lasts for more than 7 years, it will last forever. It might be on average, or biased… But it is possible for a friendship, a bond between friends to be severed even if it had withstood more than 7 years of connections. With a word, an action, a gesture, an event etc. One never knows when it happens. That’s what make bonds so precious and beautiful, for it can last as long as it can, but at the same time so fragile, because we never knew what it would take for the bond to vanish.
Among the students whom I’ve brought on the study trips, I bonded with some more than the rest through little snippets of stories, over mealtime, over shopping, & 1 especially more in particular with a few consecutive nights of HTHT (Heart-to-Heart Talk). If one were to ask me, “How did that happen?”, I could probably tell you the gist of the flow of events, but that invisible bond will be very hard to explain. It would be hard to explain the comfort in conversing, the warmth and the familiarity. Perhaps it was the frequency and wavelength. Or the vibes. Or the comfort level. If something is difficult to explain, there’s no need to put a description to it.
But I was definitely thankful for the bonds I created and strengthened in the course of my life (up till this point), and hope never to ever cease or cut that bonds with friends, family, students… especially with that 1 friend, and that 1 student~ 🙂
Credits: Images are from Google.com
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